'New Life'

hi. i've neglected you for months. here i am again, penning down my thoughts and sharing my world with you.

yes thats right. im officially 25 and i honestly think i still behave like a little girl. oh well, im young at heart and im forever young! i suddenly had a lot of thoughts about birthdays. its an occassion when you finally realised who are the ones who care for you and are always there throughout the years. its really amazing to see people come and go in your life. soon, you'll realise the ones who really love you will always remember to wish you no matter where they are. i felt really touched to receive the same greetings from the same people all these years. my family, my close friends and somehow... you. its the 4th year since 2010. thinking back, i was only 21 when i first know you and before i know it, im already 25.

bought myself a gift to pamper myself on my birthday for the first time in my life. i've always been receiving gifts from others but never from myself.

what an expensive taste i know. LOL. i really wanted to own a pandora bracelet since forever. i chose the charms for myself and they each have a meaning behind them and when i put them together, i know thats me. thats something that speaks about me. the diamond heart represents how much i love love and how much i crave for a eternal and undying love, the blue murano speaks about how much i adore blue and finally, the crown represents how i want to be treated; like a queen. the bracelet is only a quarter filled with my desires and thoughts now but i will turn it into a full bracelet about my life and something unique that belongs to me.

its only february and a lot of things are already happening in 2013. my job is in a mess, my family is facing some stress and my love life hasnt been going on smoothly like how i thought it should be. the only thing that didnt change are my friends. they are still there for me since forever. i never used to appreciate anything more than just saying a couple of 'thank yous' here and there but this birthday made me really appreciate every of their wishes from the bottom of my heart. meng fai was my secondary school mate and he honestly never fails to wish me on my birthday every single year. even thou he can go MIA for the whole year but he would always appear on my birthday to send me a birthday greeting without fail. sometimes receiving messages like this makes me feel loved by everyone else.

life is so unpredictable. i really cant fathom whats in for the future and my mom has been telling me since young that fortune telling is a bad thing to do and we should never know whats going to happen ahead of us when the time is not right yet. i believed so and never will go for fortune telling ever in my life and so, i will just take things as they come.

i dont want my life to be perfect thou im a perfectionist cus i would rather fall and learn. i've fell a few times with abrasions here and there or sometimes bigger bruises hurting me like hell but i grow from all these life lessons. its really not about how much you want to gain but how you much you want to give. its okay if i've given everything that i could and i got back nothing in return cus i know i've done my best and i wont live in regrets.

im thankful for living a full 25 years of my life and i promise my life would only get better from now on. 

the last month of the year

its been too long since i really posted something other than songs and lyrics and whatnot. been really busy as usual and i've finally graduated from my two years of leadership course! yayy! *pops champagne* my next step would be pursuing of my degree. i kinda have some regrets not continuing my studies straight after i got hold of my diploma years back cus now i gotta go through part time studies with work which can be quite burdensome at times but i guess i can cope well with things cus i work well under pressure. i must say i achieved rather good results with at least a 3.5 GPA score! for this, im really proud of myself! :D sometimes, it can be a bonus when you work and study at the same time cus you experience things on the ground level and you can actually apply your knowledge and skills better when you study at the same time. well, there's always pros and cons to everything.

coming back to the degree, i havent come to the best decision about the school yet cus duration and credibility play some really crucial part here. honestly, i really wanna set up my own school or even run a school on my own with my ideas and my philosophies one day. i've been dreaming about it lately and asking myself questions like, 'when is it gonna happen?' 'will it even come true?' etc. i know running a school isnt easy and the thought of it really scares me off sometimes cus i dont have much confidence in running a business on my own. i have a lot of ideas thou but the setting up and the whatsoever turns me off. im like, 'wtf. there's so many things to do before your school is ready for business. can i not do all those miscellanous stuffs?' i shall be patient and preserve my ideas and thoughts for now until i get the chance to really start my own school.

there's this opportunity for me to work overseas for a minumum of two years. it sounds really appealing to me and most importantly, its the experience of working and living in a foreign country that really tempted me to go for it! the place might not be as clean and as developed as singapore but i believe the people there are much warmer and much friendlier as compared to singaporeans. i think it would be an eyeopener for me if i really go but i rejected cus my priority now is to get hold of a degree. opportunities dont come knocking twice on your door but i guess i need to know whats my priority and whats the most important thing to me right now. no doubt, the learning experience could be really rich and could even make me a better person but, oh well.

anyway, its december! time really flies. im gonna be 25 in two months time. T.T its really at this point that i very much wish for time to slow down so that i can enjoy my life and enjoy my youth as much as i can. but just as i want time to slow down, everyone else is rushing to build up their career, to earn as much as they could so as to earn even more in the years ahead of them. so, if i were to stop now, my dream of opening my own school and whatever will stop as well and then i would be the one lagging behind everyone else. thus, how can i stop? T.T sad to say, singapore is a very realistic country. eveything is about lust and greed. cant we all be happy kids? :( yeah yeah, i know.. 25 is not a kid anymore. :(

ok im actually here to say that im thankful for all that i have experienced in 2012, be it the happy or unhappy moments, i love them all cus they are experiences which made me learned and become a better person. in fact, im more grateful for the unhappy moments that happened cus without all these, i wont grow and i wont be living a much better life now. for those people who let me down or did me wrong, i'd still treat you with kindness and reciprocate your bad deeds with kindness. being kind is something which i strongly believe in and i never wanna lose this value in me. it doesnt matter if i will always be taken advantage of cus as long as my conscience is clear, im happy.

if theres something for me to learn and become better in 2013, it would be to become more selfless and let go of being too selfish. im too spoilt for my own good sometimes and i find it really difficult not to be selfish especially to people who arent close to me. i need to be better and i will be.

happy december everyone!

be your everything

♥

Ill be your shelter
Ill be your storm
Ill make you shiver
Ill keep you warm
Whatever weather
Baby Im yours
Ill be your forever, Be your fling
Baby I will be your everything

一个人不可能

  

一个人我在沮丧
一个人走在路上
泪流下那么荒唐
分手当初是我在逞强
一个人对谁嚣张
一个人为谁而忙
我懂了你没反抗
是因为我不够坚强
只是我一个人 一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐我承认
从前是两个人 两个人多认真
一年后却像两个陌生人
只是我一个人 一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐我承认
想回到两个人 认真的两个人

一个人没有方向
一个人闷得发慌
谁懂得我的疯狂
谁会一直在我的身旁
一个人该怎么样
一个人一个人唱
天冷了你还好吗
明天是不是会晴朗
只是我一个人 一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐我承认
从前是两个人 两个人多认真
一年后却像两个陌生人
只是我一个人 一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐我承认
想回到两个人 认真的两个人
一个人 一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐多温热
再习惯一个人 一个人再认真
认真也不能让幸福成真
一个人一个人不可能
不可能有两个人的灵魂
等待另一个人 爱的另一个人

 

happy birthday granny!

i feel so fortunate that my popo is still around for us to celebrate her birthday every year. :)
i havent been visiting her for months and last saturday was unfortunately, my first visit in so many months. she looked great on saturday! she could remember me as myself rather than always mistaking me for ah con jie jie. haha.

anyway, i reached her place quite early cus i went down straight after my teachers' day lunch. i had some time before everyone else arrived so i talked to her in bits and pieces of hakka! i swear i tried really hard to converse in broken hakka! LOL. im amazed at myself! even my aunties were amazed and asked my mom since when did i learn to speak in hakka. LOL. popo said, "if you know how to speak in hakka, you would be able to master other languages well cus hakka is a difficult language!" she sure does know things well. LOL.

for some reasons, i would really love to learn to speak fluently in hakka so that if i ever have children next time, i wont want the language to die on my hands and want my children to learn the language as well. talking about traditions, i think a lot of those chinese/religious/family traditions that my mom know are gonna die on my hands! i dont even know what to do when it comes to all the 拜拜 stuffs! especially when everyone else is turning into christians? looks like i gotta start learning from my mom.

 singing birthday song for her!

love my family ttm! ❤

 didi not here! :(

of course, not forgetting to camwhore with my girls! ❤

lastly, a yearly picture with my cute popo! 

many a times, we get so busy in our lives that we tend to forget about our loved ones who are getting older each day. everytime i visit popo, i will always remind myself to find time to accompany her and talk to her. however, i do admit that sometimes, im really tied up with a lot of responsibilities and goals that i cant even find leisure time for myself, not to even mention spending time with my loved ones. this is contradicting, isn't it?

sigh, this is life. nonetheless, i will try to make it a point to spend time with my family members as often as i can. being busy is not an excuse ok Joanne! 

Only one

 

 You're my only one.

korea trip II

day 4

it was a fruitful day! cus we finally went for some shopping!! tour guide brought us to lotte duty free shopping mall where tourists go crazy at the cheap prices of everything branded, from cosmetics to skincare to clothings to bags and shoes. the whole mall was congested with PRCS. -.- walked around for awhile and i bought laneige bb cream at SGD26 instead of the price in singapore retailing at about SGD40 i think. we couldnt stand the crowd and the PRCS at the mall so we decided to walk over to another shopping mall. baby bought a loewe belt retailing at SGD770 and singapore's selling it for SGD850. he could even get it at a cheaper price if he went for a tax refund. korea is considered the best asian country for buying branded stuffs, skincare and cosmetic products. i used to think that hong kong is probably the best place to buy branded stuffs but not really now.

so anyway, we hopped over to myeongdong after that. meyongdong is just like the bugis street in singapore, much bigger. if i were to compare, it is probably comparable to taiwan's shilin street market but cleaner. did i mention that korea is just like taiwan, an environmental friendly country with no dustbins on the streets? for tourists like us, its actually quite annoying cus we are not used to carrying rubbish on our hands till we find a place to dispose them off. we want to get rid of them immediately! LOL.

we only had like 1 hour to shop here and we had to race for time so i bought everything i could find and see without much thoughts. i bought hair accessories at like SGD1.60 each where singapore is selling them for SGD4 each or even higher. can you imagine how cheap it was? i bought like 6 hair clips and 1 hairband at one go. i also bought like 3 blouses at an average price of SGD24 each. baby bought one black hoody jacket from one of the korean street brands, codes combine. prices are similar to that of topshop in singapore. he got it for SGD50 i think? i wanted to buy shoes but couldnt find anything unique or nice. they have skincare and cosmetic stores everywhere selling really cheap products but i really didnt have time to go in. how can we possibly comb every stret, every area within one hour? :(

so, we ended our time at myeongdong and i was telling baby that i wanted to forgo everland and cab to myeongdong for more shopping! LOL. well, there you read it, our next stop after shopping and lunch was to everland amusement park! its better than lotte world amusement park in my opinion. i really love this place! didnt take any thrilling rides as usual cus that timid boy didnt want to. :(

after everland, we went for dinner at this awesome korean BBQ place! one of the better meals we had in korea.

and i didnt had ramyeon for supper cus i was too full from all the meat. :D

day 5

after being back in seoul for 2 days, we set off to somewhere out of town again. we were still in seoul, just that we were further away from the city area. we went to mt sorak national park for some sight seeing and temple viewing.

it was aqua water theme park after this. baby and i opted out for this cus we didnt bring our swimwear. thus, we joined the rest for dinner. and it was korean BBQ again! we were too damn full from the dinner and we still bought ramyeon for supper. LOL. i cant finish my share obviously and as usual, baby gotta finish it for me. haha!

day 6

we went to nami island and went to the filming site of the winter sonata. the place felt so unreal, with all the trees surrounding the roads and the road seemed never ending. i can imagine how beautiful it would be during spring, with all the flowers blooming!

after lunch, we went to this warehouse that was full of faceshop and other brand products. we attended a beauty class in which we were taught on the skincare regime and the use of their products from the brand, the odbo which cant be found in singapore. at this point of time, everyone in our tour group shopped like mad inside the place. the cosmetics and skincare products were so damn cheap compared to singapore! who doesnt wanna buy a whole lot back to singapore?

anyway, the brand; the odbo is an affiliation of the faceshop and i gotta say that their products work great on me. i've been using it for two weeks and no breakouts at all. my face is much more radiant and has that glow which i didnt see when i used other products. maybe the change in skincare products a few months back played a part too. cus of the sensitive nature of my face, i cant just any-o-how use any products on the shelf and the consequences would be immediate which is having breakouts. so, im really happy with my buys and i totally regret not buying more! and i bought like 50 sheets of masks from the faceshop and the odbo. NOT ENOUGH OK. after distributing some away, i've only left like 30 pieces for myself? not that i cant find them in singapore but i bought them at SGD1 per mask! where to get such cheap masks in singapore? i really regretted not getting more cosmetics!! the prices are so cheap compared to singapore's the faceshop. korea is so crazy about cosmetics and skincare that they even have an entire building with all levels full of nothing else but makeups and skincare products.

my favourite product from the odbo would be the sunblock which comes in compact form which is so easy to use and hassle free! most importantly, it doesnt feel oily at all! i really hate how some sunblocks make your face feel so oily and sticky! second on the list would be the aqua soothing essence which works similarly to SKII's miracle essence. it really hydrates my face and it feels so lightweight and cooling when applied on the face. third on the list would be their peeling gel made from natural ingredients which i thought isnt that harsh unlike some other peeling gels used to exfoliate your skin. i hate those kind of peeling gels cus they are too rough and harsh on my face.

the odbo is only selling in korea and it cant be found anywhere in singapore. im like damn sad that i only bought one of these each. :( out of curiosity and desperate for the products, i went to google and i found this singapore based website bringing in the products and they are selling them at a really high price! i bought all these products at SGD33 each in korea and the website is selling them for SGD53 to SGD65! you must be kidding me! :(

in case if you wonder, after trying out so many products, asian products suit me best. they dont give me breakouts at all and they are so suitable for my skin that i really see the vast differences after the change in my skincare products. for those curious peeps out there, im currently using ettusais and the odbo products. ettusais is an affiliation of shiseido and they really work for me! i really like their softener which works pretty much the same like a toner. after using this, im never investing in toners anymore. :) its alcohol free! my favourite! products like eucerin, clarins, clinique, etc really dont work for me. i've grown to think that perhaps asian products always work best on asians.

damn sad for my odbo products! :( who's going to korea anytime soon?! BUY THEM BACK FOR ME!

so anyway, after the crazy shopping at the warehouse, we went to visit the president's house, dinner was korean style bat kut teh and we watched a famous korean performance called 'jump' at night.

after the show, tour guide brought us to dongdaemun for one and a half hours of shopping. seriously, one and a half hours was not enough, not even enough to cover one shopping mall and dongdaemun had like 5 big malls excluding street vendors. we went into one without even looking around cus as usual, we had to race for time.
this time round, baby bought more clothings cus there's mens department in the mall. lots of bargaining took place and the mens department was kinda intimidating to me cus the salesmen were overly 'friendly' that it became quite scary for me. LOL. but they were still nice people. salesgirls in the girls department were more laid back. they normally wait for you to ask before they attend to you. prices of these clothings range from SGD20 to SGD30, depending on what you buy and how much you can bargain with them. i've to say that dongdaemun stuffs are not exactly cheap, myeongdong would probably sell cheaper stuffs.

day 7

this was our last day in korea. tour guide promised us a full 2 and a half hours of shopping at dongdaemun. this time round, we bought whatever we saw that we liked and in the end, baby and i had to go separate ways for the last 1 hour of shopping cus we had to race for time to get whatever we wanted! anyway, we bought couple tees! im seriously not a fan of couple tees cus i find them too damn cheesy and gay but i guess i was sorta influenced by korean couples everywhere on the streets, dressing up in couple wear together and i eventually find them kinda cute! then, we wanted to get the cute couple animal hoodies that i really like! however, sizes dont match cus its too big for me and too small for baby. in the end, baby bought a rabbit and bear hoody and i got a cat one. its seriously too damn cute! we definitely cant find this outfit in singapore! and not to mention, we bought more clothings. and oh! i bought 2 pairs of shoes!

that sums up our korea trip! :)

korea trip I

im back from korea! baby and i joined a tour this time round cus he dont trust my korean abilities. -.- but hey, i can communicate with koreans in simple sentences, asking for directions and etc. i guess that is enough for us to get by but oh well, we joined a tour. anyways, some koreans are able to speak in mandarin, damn good mandarin! for a moment, i thought they were PRCS but they were really koreans.

anyway, i really hate joining tours when it comes to vacations. if i ever go back to korea again, it would definitely be free and easy on my own now that i got to see how seoul is like.

we went on a 8 day tour to jeju island and seoul. we stayed at jeju island for the first 2 days and thereafter, back to seoul for the rest of our journey.

day 1

took a midnight flight to korea and was so shagged the moment we touched down. our tour guide then brought us to some kimchi making class where we had a hands-on experience on how to make kimchi and got a chance to wear hanboks!


i hate this pink hanbok suit on me. i wish i could try on multi coloured ones but oh well, i was being chosen for this pink suit. :(
then, we went to this stretch of 'mysterious road' where cars claimed to go upwards instead of downards the road. the wind was really strong and it was so freaking cold!


we had bibimbap 비빔밥 for lunch and it was seriously so sucky that we didnt really touch the food at all. i even doubted that it wasnt bibimbap that we ate but a normal korean style hotpot instead. after lunch, we went to teseum to see tons of teddy bear figurines.


dinner was the traditional 9 dish cuisine that korean families would eat at home. another terrible meal after the horrendous lunch in the afternoon. i swear we were all freaking tired and shagged from the flight and whole day of touring without resting. checked into our hotel for the night and guess what? baby and i went to the nearby convenient store and bought ramyeon to make up for the horrible lunch and dinner. LOL. korean style ramyeon like a shiok! :D

day 2

woke up really early, bathed and felt all refreshed after the horrible first day. we went to songan sunrise peak and the weather that day was insanely beautiful! clear blue skies, white clouds with cool wind blowing across our faces. i miss that feeling! this place was one of the 7 wonders of nature in the world and the scenery there was really magnificent. i do enjoy such sceneries of nature at times cus as city dwellers, we dont usually get to see such landscapes especially in singapore.



after that, we went to some village. this place was said to be one of the filming sites of 大长今.

and its lunch time!

black pork korean BBQ!
koreans usually prepare lots of side dishes to go with the main dish at the side. they include fish cakes, kimchi, seaweed, ikan billis, etc. the only vegetables they prepare are cabbage and raddish. we see them in every meal and perhaps lettuce to wrap up the meat when we eat grilled korean BBQ.

after lunch, we went to a 3D trick art gallery where we saw lots of paintings painted in 3D.

then, we went to chocolate museum and green tea museum!

chocolate museum!

green tea museum!
then we had seafood steamboat for dinner where we witnessed one or two of our group mates eating raw octopus tentacles. anyway, the seafood steamboat was crap cus both baby and i are not fans of oysters, clams, etc and what they served us were all of these. so guess what? its ramyeon for our supper again! LOL.

day 3

rise and shine! took a flight back to seoul and our first stop was to ice gallery! really nice place with ice carvings and its -18degrees in there!

and we even had a hands-on class on ice carving!

after that, we went to lotte world amusement park! its a 2 in 1 amusement park consisting of indoor and outdoor rides. that timid boy didnt dare to take any of those roller coaster rides and after whining to him for a long time, he decided to take the pirate ship ride with me and it was so funny seeing his reaction! LOL. then, we went outdoor and he forced me to watch some ghostly 3D show with him. scary shows are my weaknesses for real. i can take thrilling rides but not walking into a haunted house or watching such shows cus it scares the hell outta me. and oh! korean couples are really cute! they really like to dress up in couple wear from head to toe! same headbands, same teeshirts, same coloured shorts/pants, same coloured socks all the way to the same type of shoes in the same colour! im not exaggerating! they looked quite cute actually! i bet if any singaporean couples are to wear like that in singapore, they would probably get stares from everyone on the streets. LOL.

that sums up our day!

day 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 in the next post!

the distance

today im gonna talk about distance, to be more precise, its long distance relationship. recently, i got comments like this, "i really admire you for your perseverance. how do you cope with the long distance when he's not there for you all the time? what happens when you need him cand he's not around?"

in case if you're still unaware of my relationship status, im attached with a boyfriend who's currently pursuing his studies in america. well, i got to know him when he's already there and it just so happened that he's back for his vacation and you know, we met and things happened. LOL. why did i even agree to start this long distance relationship when i already obviously know the consequences? well, i cant really answer that i guess. its all about the feelings and probably the time was right back then?

the purpose of writing this is to share my journey of love for 2 years, coming to 2 and a half years this coming june. it just suddenly daunt on me that i guess im still quite independent to a certain level, no? HAHA. well, put all those "i cant-shop-and-eat-alone-stuffs" aside, i guess im still surviving pretty well without my boyfriend by my side? here are the reasons:

1. occupied with work and studies
im pretty much a workaholic and always that responsible and worried about my work and im the sort who needs to do my own stuffs on my own and cant stand having anybody else touching my stuffs and doing them for me. so, im occupied almost 24/7 of my time just on work and studies alone.

2. fatiqueness
by the time i reach home from late night classes, i'll be so dead tired that i dont have much energy left to think about excess matters and the only thing that comes to my mind would be sleeping and waking up to a whole new day of work the next morning. so? where's the time to worry and think?

3. family and friends/in-laws bonding
im not the kind of party girl who goes drinking and clubbing every other weekends, so my usual hangout routine with my friends would be shopping and dinner dates. the occasional family gatherings make me happy too. these people are enough to keep my weekends happy. come to think of it, i've only saturdays to spare in a week of 7 days. so, i dont really have free time as well. another point to add on would be the occasional meetups with his family. okay, maybe this could be a lil tough for some people cus not everyone could really click well with boyfriend's family or whatsoever so i think im considered quite fortunate that im on relatively good terms with his family members. his mom and brother would call me out for dinner dates occasionally when they're free for some bonding. LOL.

4. when the love is strong
its always the hardest not during the first few months but i would say probably somewhere in the middle if you're still in the relationship for more than a year. this is usually the period of time when the honeymoon period is over, when both parties start going back into reality and get busy with their own stuffs without as much communication as before. danger period i would say cus there would be more bickerings and such but if the love is strong enough, both would be able to get through tough times together.

5. communication
needless to say, communication is one of the more important points out of all. no matter how busy we are, how little time we have for each other, we would still leave messages for each other or try to talk to each other daily through MSN so that we have updates on each other's lives.

every long distance relationship differs and i cant say that mine is the same as all the others out there but i survived, somehow. theres no doubt that i did waver my thoughts and wanted to give up halfway but each time this happened, we managed to get things right and got through the tough times together. yes, he might not be physically here for me and i dont deny that there were times when i wished that he's here and yada yada, but its all about the determination and the trust i have in him. its kinda difficult for me to say the word trust cus im very afraid of getting hurt especially after my horrible first love, thus i find it extremely difficult to trust in a complete stranger who's entering into my life again and getting a part of everything i do. as time goes by, i guess he proved with his actions that i could place that teeny weeny bit of trust in him. its very important for a man to honour his words and prove with his actions, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

the last point is to always remember to keep your relationship fun and easy-going. this applies to all relationships, not specifically for long distance ones. by fun and easy-going, i mean keep things light-hearted, joke around a lot, do lots of stupid things together, talk to each other about everything under the sun and enjoy going anywhere and everywhere together. the trick is to really behave like best friends and yet at the same time, dependable during the rough periods. the rule of the thumb is to always be there for each other, never keep your arguments for more than one day and show love often by saying "i love you" many times and mean it, surprises and lil treats to brighten up each other's days! :)

here's a picture of us, in our current 28th month together!

:D

씨엔블루 아직 사랑한다

one of my favourite songs on repeat these days! ♥
its actually a really sad song if you read through the lyrics.
minhyuk looks really cute in here! kinda love boys with cute single eyelids these days. so attractive! hehe! (:
last but not least, totally mesmerised with yonghwa's voice and his cute single eyelids too! :D

24th birthday

thank you everyone for all the well wishes! :)

its really scary how fast time flies by every year with all of us getting older each year. i used to wanna grow up as fast as i could when i was young and now that im 24, i wish i could still go back to the days when i was still a child. 6 more years before im 30. zomg.

anyway, i just received choding's birthday present from USA! its the third birthday parcel he sent me since 2010. come to think of it, we've already spent 3 birthdays (thou i've yet to celebrate his birthday this year cus its in may) with each other since we got together. :)

i love opening parcels! :D

this is my birthday present, sony camera. gonna use it for our korea trip! :D

handwritten letter plus a hidden video message for me in the camera! :D seriously, i dont understand why he calls me 'master wu gui' nowadays, my new nickname apparently. -.-

belated anniversary gift, YSL wallet.

the best part that i like about the presents is the video. it was seriously so epic funny and i cant control my laughter throughout the whole video. LOL. i wish i could post it up and share but... i cant. he's too vulgar in the video, with all the profanities here and there and he looked really awkward and retarded talking to himself (which was supposedly me) into the mirror. HAHAHA! :P OH, he tried to sing me a birthday song but its a major fail cus he stopped without even finishing the first line before telling me its too weird to sing it in front of a mirror. HAHAHA! :P

i was telling him about how nobody believes me when i said he actually takes care of me pretty well cus everyone thought that im too matured for him and how he is still a lil boy who cant do anything at all. LOL. the fact is he is the one taking care of me most of the time and he does his job well. he can be quite a sweetie pie SOMETIMES. i said 'sometimes' so as to not let him get all arrogant and proud of himself. LOL.

lastly, its the same old thing that i always say, i feel blessed to have him with me. thank you for everything, my big baby boy. i know you love me the most! <3

children with special needs

the other day while i was in class, my lecturer showed us a video about how this down syndrome child lived through his schooling years all the way to high school and how his life was after he graduated from school. the video showed how the boy struggled in mainstream schools and how he was being ostracised by other children and how he couldnt really learn anything much throughout his schooling years. there's also interviews conducted with his mom and she was in denial cus she believed that her child should go to normal schools just like other children so that he could learn to blend in and survive in this society.

after watching the video, i had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. the reason why im so overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions was cus there's this kid with behavioural problems in my class this year. i dont deny that he was really problematic, giving me a hard time every morning but at the same time, i couldnt blame him for being 'naughty' cus he's having some disabilities unlike normal children. he had really short attention span, couldnt sit still for more than 10 minutes, disturbed and hurt other children whenever he had the chance to do so, couldnt read and write at all, couldnt even recognise any alphabets or numbers.

because of his behavioural issues, i had to be very harsh and firm with this boy cus im left with no choice. i had to do this so as to keep the other normal children in my class 'sane'. however, whenever i had to be harsh on him, i kinda pitied him at the same time cus i know he just cant control himself, not that he really wanted to hurt others. teachers like us, who are not trained in special needs would never be able to teach and give those children any proper guidance. sad, isnt it? but really, there's nothing much that i could do even thou i really pity him. he can be really cute sometimes and i dont really mind having him with me till end of the year but i really wanna help him to get proper treatment.

i dont know if his parents are in denial of his condition but i really think that he should be enrolled into a special needs school where he could be given proper guidance and learn things that he was supposed to learn instead of wasting time in mainstream schools in which we cant do anything to help him at all. at the end of the day, the child is gonna suffer in the long run.

sometimes, i dont understand why parents are ALWAYS in denial of their children's condition whenever outsiders tell them that their children are perhaps having some disabilities. i mean, PLEASE for goodness sake, get them a doctor and do early intervention. by putting them and forcing them into mainstream schools really dont do them any good. it will just backfire and make things worse for them. it can be really devastating to know that your child is abnormal but if its meant to be like this, accept the reality and do something to help them.

well, its easier said than done. i keep asking myself this question, 'what if i have a special needs child? what am i gonna do?' i cant really answer that cus it doesnt only requires temporary attention but permanent attention for life. i've to take care of this child for my whole entire life and i've to even worry about him/her after i die. i cant imagine how traumatising that can be for me yet i cant just leave the child alone and abandon him/her.

just something for everyone to think about.

CNY 2012

happy dragon new year everybody!
its finally the DRAGON year. i was 12 the last time when it was the dragon year and im gonna be you know... double that age this year, in exactly ONE MONTH'S TIME. damn old. :(
when i was young, i told myself that im gonna have a dragon baby next time but guess what? im still not married now, HOW TO HAVE DRAGON BABY? LOL. i really love dragon cus im a 小龙女 myself! :) so people, 生多多 this year cus its finally the long awaited dragon year!

anyway, cny is always my favourite festive season since young, tons of family fun and good food to eat! :D

in my modern cheongsam dress for day 1. i looked really tall here, perhaps 180cm? HAHA. no lar, perhaps only 170cm? :P

favourite picture! btw, a few friends and colleagues had been asking me where to get my pair of heels. well, you definitely cant find it in singapore cus i bought them in hongkong! :D


my outfit is green like the plant, no?
brother and i!
vivi and i in our modern cheongsam dress!
cousins love!
val and i!
cousins love!




only picture for day two, at my 5th aunt's place.

played dai dee with my cousins and i lose in every freaking round! tsk tsk, its true. dragons better dont gamble this year. the two goats (bro and val) kept taking turns to win!

well, that very much sums up my cny for year 2012. its back to reality now, assignments and work! why so fast! :(