i realised a deleted blog can be revived by just a click, so here i am blogging away again. writing journals is a part of me, asking me to stop writing is equivalent to asking me to maim my hands. even thou im so busy nowadays, i practically dont have that much of a time to sit down and blog regularly like how i used to, but this blog has been with me since eons ago. it contains so much of my dramatic life like what yvette would describe my life as. thou most of the archives are gone, i still cant bear to delete away this blog. pisceseans are a bunch of sentimental people.
i was having some issues with myself since thursday. i swear its a total bad deepavali for me, an angry one i would say. i cant accept the fact for some reasons and one of the reason was cus 我是一个公私分明的人。 i draw a very clear line between work and my private life. whatever i did at work and however im like after work are two different matters for me. i act and do differently during and after work. i dont like colleagues to know much about my private life and the same goes for my friends and family. they dont know how im like at work and i consider this as one of the good points about me.
so, after i calmed down and reflect on this whole issue, i realised i shouldnt give up on blogging just cus of certain people. perhaps yvette is right, its not worth it to give up on something that i like to do cus of them. this blog is a public property of mine, everybody else who knows about this site has every right to read about everything i wrote in here. there's no way i can argue about this. and i have a clear conscience in my actions and words. i always give my best at work, i always say i want the best for my students, i always say i've this passion for teaching and not to forget, i adore the sense of satisfaction my job gives me. i enjoy what im doing and i definitely wont just stop here.
i dont like to get myself involve in all sorts of politics you'll encounter at work. whatever i hear, whoever who tells me anything, i'll just listen and forget about it. im definitely not someone who likes to go around telling tales and get myself involve in all these nonsense. i go to work, i do my job and i get my pay every month. thats it. i mean, come on, im not that childish and silly to make myself miserable everyday at work. and in any case, im dealing with children and parents and this alone is enough to give me headaches, so why do i wanna make myself feel even worse by playing politics with my colleagues? that is why, for you curious beings out there, if you're waiting for the day when you can read about me ranting about my colleagues, you'll never be able to see the day coming cus its just not happening.
and this includes my boss. whatever i've written about her so far are all good things about her cus one, i really think she's a good boss and two, she deserves all that praise from her subordinates and that includes the rest of my colleagues. so, just continue to be jealous of the good relationship between the two of us. sometimes, this is what people call, chemistry. i totally believe in having that chemistry for people to click.
犯错了就要勇于承认错误。 to err is human. nobody is perfect and the same goes for me. im not the perfect teacher out there, not the perfect daughter, not the perfect friend and not the perfect girlfriend out there. but im willing to learn from my mistakes and improve from them. im still undeniably young and the experiences that i have cant be compared to anyone of you out there. i've never been disrespectful to anyone whom i think deserves my respect. so, doing something like this behind other people's back will definitely, absolutely lose that lil respect from me.
anyway, who am i to start things with? im just a nobody. so why are you so curious about me? where did that curiosity inside you come from? even after days of reflection, i still cant figure out the link between everything. bizarre and scary at the same time.
my life is seemingly so interesting eh? so captivating that so many people cant take their eyes off my blog. well, sometimes people just need a lil entertainment to keep themsevles occupied i guess? maturity doesn't comes with age and doing this just proves me even further the credibility of this statement.
and its only now then i realised that it doesn't matter if they wanna read about my life and know everything about me from head to toe cus i've nothing to hide. the only thing im mad about was the fact that i've failed to protect the closed ones in my life. i loathe the fact that all of you knows about all my closed ones in my life. i loathe the fact that im so naked in front of all of you now, letting all of you see who's my boyfriend, my besties, my family and all that stories about me.
however, like i said, i've nothing to hide. but i've learnt my lesson so there are of course some things that you wont get the chance to read anymore. its just saddening to know how despicable, pretentious and cunning this world can get.
