work work work

was busy working these 3 days. work is great! :) i love both my classes so much but still, i love the morning class most. DAMN CUTE i tell you! they are always making me laugh. LOL!

i asked the morning class whether they like me as their new teacher anot, they all said yes. and when i asked them why, these is what they replied me.

i like you because...

cristabel: you very wilful (?!) and beautiful.
birju: you very pretty, prettier than other teachers and i like girls with long hair.
felicia: you teach very nice.
jack: you very good.

...blablabla, the list goes on. some of them gave me nonsensical answers like im very wilful? wth! hahas. do they even know whats wilful? LOL! anyway, they are very cute and innocent lil kids but they are very bright thou! :D and birju pasted spongebob squarepant's stickers on my water bottle. so funny! LOL!

the afternoon class are not so vocalised cus most of them didnt attend nursery class last year. so when i asked them the same question, they just nod their head, look at me and smile. LOL! anyway, time passes damn fast working in a kindergarten rather than a childcare. and i know all their names by tuesday already! hehes.

okay, enough of work. funny incidents in school are never ending. i cant possibly finish saying all of them but children are really cute and funny! HAHAS.

anyway, im very irritated with my handphone. this afternoon my handphone suddenly shut off and restart again by itself. and after that, i went inside my inbox and saw a broken message (incomplete message). its the one year anniversary message that baby sent me! its incomplete and messy now! i tried restarting again, tried deleting other messages, tried this and that and its still incomplete! ARGHH! so frustrated! its baby's one year anniversary message to me lehs! =(

baby is sick. hais. i miss him so much lars! let me count. i haven been seeing him for 4 days already! tomorrow is the fifth day! feel so uneasy without seeing him often lehs. :( hope he will recover soon. I MISS HIM!!!

officially first day at work

students go back to school today and i also go back to school today. LOL! anyway, my day was alrite lars, not bad for my first day. my morning class got a few cute ones, especially jun ming and felicia. jun ming's hair is natural light brown in colour, so nice! :) felicia is very smart and sweeeeeet. LOL! there's a very talkative indian student called birju in the morning class. SO TALKATIVE! kept talking non-stop all the way from the time he stepped in and go home. buay tahan! there's lesser students in the afternoon class so easier to handle but dont have cute ones lors.

and i really have problems remembering their names especially the malays and indians. hopefully i'll know them all by wednesday, if not its hard to call them. when i drank water in class, the children said my water bottle is very cute cus is mickey mouse one. LOL! so funny!

when im going back home today, i went to the 7-11 at my house downstairs cus i wanna top up my ez-link card. then ar, this indian at the counter kept talking to me.

him: so you just came back from school ar?
me: err. no, from work.
him: ohh! but you look like a schoolgirl lehhs, so young ar.
me: i just graduated not long ago mahs.
him: ohhh! so wat you working as?
me: preschool teacher in kindergarten.
him: wahh. so i should call you teacher ar, teacher.
me: *smile*
him: so whats your name ar?
me: joanne.
him: nice name, i got friends also call joanne.
me: ohhh.

then after finish toping up, i forgot to take my change, then he said;

him: hey, you forgot to take your change lehs.
me: oops! hahas.
him: unless you wanna buy me something with the change lars, then no need to return you.
me: hahas. *took my change & starts to walk out*
him: come more often at this time ar, take care!

zZz. i didnt really see him before one lehs, dont know if he's new or what. LOL!

i miss babyyy!

pre anniversary date

had a great time with baby today! :D we went town shopping for my bag and stuffs. saw a few nice bags but didnt get it in the end. and i saw a mickey watch and wallet. both also damn chio can! i wanna get them someday. hehes.

baby bought me an orange sleeveless tee we both saw at espirit the other day. he said it will sure look nice on me so he bought it without me trying it. LOL! anyway, thanks baby! :)

we walked around and had dinner at manhattan fish market. (i got the name right this time! :D) then we went to gelare to have ice cream. and i asked baby to take photos with me! LOL! we took so many many pictures! shall post our pretty pictures up now! :D



crazy us! LOL!

baby's favourite picture!

my favourite picture!










lastly, we are one year old already!!! SO HAPPIE!!! :D i love my baby many many!

first day of work

new skin! simple and nice eh? :) anyway, people commented that my last post was a touching&good one! LOL! but, of course i blogged it out cus i feel like doing so not cus of any other reasons. actually the post was meant for baby but he dont know about my blog. what a pity right? LOL!

today is my first day of work! and its still acceptable lars. my supervisor, mrs leong seems nice cus she also just joined that pap last year. and i got to know one of the teachers there called esther. she's old enough to be my mum. LOL! all the teachers there are all aunties lors! im the only young one down there. SIANS! i miss joyce! =(

anyway, i'll be the form teacher for the K1 class. i have 2 K1 classes and there's about 24 children in each class. esther roughly told me about the children down there and i can forsee that im going to have a hard time teaching them.

she told me ALOT about the teachers down there and there's only one word for me to describe them, JIALAT! the politics down there is so bad that i dont think anyone can imagine. the teachers there except for esther practically dont take their job seriously. lesson plans are not properly written, learning corners and teaching aids not done. well, i dont care whether they did their teaching aids or learning corners anot cus its none of my business BUT their messy lesson plans affected me cus im supposed to use them for teaching! i read through their lesson plans this afternoon and i need to change almost all of them cus its inappropriate to use them.

so first day of work and i brought home 'homework' to do. wth. zZz. i still have TONS of learning corner activities to do! SIANS! and i need to go for medical checkup AGAIN!!! how? im scared of blood test lars! arghh.

our memories

we've known each other for a year plus already. i can still remember one year ago, the first time you sent me the message asking me for my number and we exchange smses everyday without fail since then.

i can still remember the day we first met at orchard. you were late, it was raining and your umbrella sort of brought us together. you asked me to be your girlfriend and i rejected you but you didnt give up.

the second time we met up is at cityhall. we watched a midnight movie and you sent me home after that. you asked me why am i so quiet in the cab but i didnt answer you.

the third time we met up is also at orchard. you met me after school, we went coffee bean and talked about alot of things. you kept asking me for my hand but i still refused to hold your hand that time. when we reached my house downstairs, you told me you were so hungry that you felt as if you didnt eat for 30 days. and i promised to give you an answer the next time we meet up.

the fourth time we met up is at bugis. i was having a very bad sore throat and i insisted on drinking coke cus old people says coke is a remedy to cure sore throat but you refused to let me drink coke. you even went to watsons and bought me lozenges and tell me that you wanna care for me and tell me to just let you take care of me. you sent me home after the movie and at my house downstairs, you asked for my hand again and thats when i finally agree to hold your hand. perhaps im touched by your care and concern thats why i agree. you told me you are serious in me and will want this relationship to work out. you told me you were happie to hear my answer and went home after that.

the first movie that we watched together was superman at causeway point. we had our dinner at delifrance and you told me something that is etched in my mind since then. i asked you why do you want to be together with me and you said you also dont know, you just have a strong feeling of taking care of me. you said you dont have such a feeling of wanting to take care of a girl so much before me. i didnt reply much but im touched in my heart. you lend me your jacket in the cinema, we hold hands under the jacket and i lied on your shoulder. this is the first time i felt so close to you and felt the warmness you gave me.

the first time we hugged and kissed was outside my lift. we went town shopping that day and when you sent me home, you asked me if you could hug me. i said yes and you hugged me for a long time before you kissed me. how i wish time will just stop at that moment that day.

the first time you mentioned breakup to me was at esplanade. we were quarrelling like hell and we went to a place where we both sat down thinking about alot of things. we kept quiet throughout and you suddenly get up and walked away leaving me chasing behind you. you said you cant stand me anymore and think that im not the one you're looking for and wanted to break up with me. you scolded me, shouted at me. i just kept quiet and cried like mad. i said i dont wanna breakup and you insist on it. you compared me with your ex and told me how good is she to you and how not good am i to you. i told you i'll be good to you and listen to whatever you said. you then hugged me and asked me why am i like this and told me you dont mean to say breakup to me cus you just dont want me to be like this. its such a hard night for me.

the first month spent together was at town shopping when you didnt get me any gift and bought me a puma handbag as a gift. we went east coast park after dinner and had a lovely time together. i can still remember i said i want you to piggyback me while going back cus im tired of walking. in the end, you tried for several times before we both gave up. i made chocolates for you and wrote so much things inside a card that i gave you. you said you appreciate everything i did for you and it made my day.

remember all the times we quarrelled on the streets? i will always end up crying and crying non-stop. you would then shout at me and scold me. but at the end of the day, you would always hug me close to you and forget all about the unhappiness with me.

remember the gifts that i got for you during our 4th month? an adidas watch that you wanted and a nike bag that you liked? you were angry with me initially until i handed the gifts over to you. you hugged me and told me you're touched that i got those things for you cus it shows that i remember every single thing you told me.

and the first time you knelled down in front of me at citylink begging me not to leave you. i was shocked to see you doing that and we eventually made up after that. i didnt forget that cus its already etched in my mind.

and all the times when i go all the way to your house downstairs just to wait for you to come down or come back to see me for that 10 minutes? you said im crazy and wanted me to go home but i still insisted that i wanna wait for you cus i miss you and im happie enough to see you for that 10 minutes.

and then the J*****N incident made you realised that you dont wanna lose me. the night when you missed called me for 80 over times just cus you are worried about me? i remember it so clearly. you became so good to me all of a sudden and told me so many things. we became so close after that and the first time you said you wanna marry me is on the bus on the way home. you paused for awhile and said you're scared to tell me cus you scared that i'll reject you. but still, you told me you wanna propose to me during your mum's birthday dinner cus you wanna show her that you're big enough already and doesnt want her to worry about you anymore. im so touched and i agreed on the bus.

we spent our half year together on a short 2 days vacation. thou we quarrelled at the start, we still managed to spend our time happily. you bought me a necklace from SK jewellery and i love it alot.

and then the C*******E incident made us became even closer. i was so so upset to see all that that happened at your house downstairs. i was so lost and dont know what to do. i cried and said i wanna go home but you begged me and explained to me whats going on and i eventually forgave you after that.

when im so upset with whatever that happened in my home, you came to visit me despite that its your first day of school and you skipped school just to come and see me. thats the first time when i felt that you're actually there when i needed you most. you told me you wanna give me a happie family and never want me to go through something like this again. i was so touched by what you told me. and then you came to my house everyday for that week cus you told me you dont feel like going school. you're not feeling good and all that you wanted was just me to accompany you. you told me you're very happie that week and im so happie that i finally could make you feel happie with me.

remember the first time you were so sick that you cant go out for a week? i was really so worried about you and felt so helpless cus i cant even do anything to help you. i wanted to visit you but i cant even do it cus you told me its contagious. i was so scared to lose you and so scared when you told me you went for the checkup at the hospital. i practically cried every night to sleep and prayed and hoped that you'll be fine. was so glad that you eventually recover from your sickness.

and then we spent our first valentine's day together. you bought me a wedding mickey&minnie soft toy and told me you want us to be like the wedding couple. i was so happie to receive your gift. and we spent our first CNY together followed by my 19th birthday. thou your surprises that you wanna give me didnt came true in the end cus of some reasons, im still very happie that you actually planned something so romantic on my birthday. in the end, thou we just had dinner and movie at town im still very very contented and happie with you cus afterall, its my first birthday with you.

remember the times when you were sick outside? the first time i was so lost and so scared. i totally dont know what to do. i cried like mad, i tried to ask for help but i didnt leave you alone at all and i sent you home. the second time you were sick, you asked me to get you a cup of hot milo and without any hesitation i walked around the mall just to buy you a cup of hot milo. you said you're thankful and glad that i didnt leave you alone.

and then, something big happened to me in march and april. was having a very terrible time during the 2 months and you were there with me throughout everything. that experience was something not even words could describe. i know you had a terrible time tolerating all my nonsenses and my temper. im really very appreciative of whatever you did for me. we finally went through this together at the end of april.

and the day we went east coast park on may? its such a beautiful day for us. i told you i just wanna have a simple wedding next time and you told me you were shocked to hear that and you find me so beautiful out of a sudden? i didnt forget that. i didnt forget everything wonderful that happened that day.

and the times when you cried so hard when i mentioned breakup to you? i was actually crying with you too. i didnt forget all these.

you always say i dont appreciate everything that you've done for me but i really DO appreciate them alot. small little gestures that you do for me is enough for me to be touched for the whole day. the times when you helped me to cut my chicken cus i find it hard to, the times you feed me with food, the times you wiped my mouth and even times when you helped me to carry my bag, i appreciate all the things you've done. EVERYTHING.

i just wanna let you know that sometimes saying sorry isnt of any help at all cus the hurt is already there. there will always be a scar in my heart. but i still choose to forgive you, to forgive the grave mistake that you've committed cus after all that we went through, i know you're really serious in us. i no longer say in me cus i see the future in us.

i hope you can give me the respect that i need next time round. i hope no such things will happen again. promise?

one year is approaching in a week's time. we went through this one year with lotsa effort from us. yvette is right. one year already, we should just give and take. its no longer the stage where we are still so childish and arguing over unnecessary stuffs.

we almost didnt make it to our one year. its our past that saved us.

my dream job!

HAHAHAHAS! im so HAPPIE! i got my dream job! :D joyce introduced her current work place to me and i called up the centre. i went for the interview earlier on in the morning and im very satisfied with what they offered me. for your information, im working for the PAP kindergarten at bukit batok. looks like working for the government is so much more better than working for private companies. LOL! :DDD

whats so good about working for the government? better pay, extra bonuses yearly, medical benefits, increment of pay yearly, HOLIDAYS and most importantly, NO OT AND NO NEED TO WORK ON SATURDAYS! wahahas! im so lucky, aint i? :P i've got to really thank joyce this time! but, we're not working together cus she's working in their childcare and im working in their kindergarten. :(

i was unhappie with baby last night till this morning cus he dont allow me to work an office job that i found yesterday. argued a little bit with him and we hang up the phone this morning. was very unhappie initially until this good job opportunity came to me. i wonder if this is what people always say in chinese, "yin huo de fu". i suppose so. :) thou i was angry with him, he's still the first person that i wanna share the good news with. i forgot all about the unhappiness with him. :)

chatted a little bit with guan soon last night. he told me when he was at the hospital, the first person he thought of calling is the girl he likes. maybe he's right. people will always want to share every good and bad news with the person whom they think is important to them. anyway, was really quite upset when i heard guan soon's story. but guan soon, dont be discouraged! i was once as unlucky as you but i believe once your good luck is here, things will be better de. JIAYOU! :D

afterall, i know baby is just concern about me. he's worried about me working in such a messy environment thats why he doesnt want me to work there. i guess i shouldnt get angry with him at all in the first place. i think i DO owe him an apology. (: BUT, he still thinks im a xiao mei mei who has never seen the outside world before! wth? hahas. and yet he doesnt want me to see the outside world lors! LOL!

joke of the day: baby pronounced coupon as 'cor-poon' yesterday! so funny! LOL! singaporeans tend to speak singlish very easily HORS? i guess is cus the influence is everywhere resulting in this. hahas. but then again, dont speak singlish jiu bu shi singaporean liao! wahahas! :P but dont you find it amazing? we can mix english with chinese with hokkien with malay with teochew or whatever dialects lors! LOL! simply amazing!

I WANNA CUT HAIR! I WANNA GET A NEW HAIRSTYLE! should i cut away my long hair for short hair? should i? should i not? arghh! irritating!

im starting work on monday! wish me luck! BYE.

keeping feelings to myself

sometimes i just wish to cry all day long...

i guess some things are not for people to read. i deleted off my previous entry cus i dont think i want anybody to know whats going on in me. my feelings, i know it best myself. if you get to read it, then good for you. you know what im feeling now. if you dont, dont bother to ask me what did i write in it cus i wont tell you.

people can ask me whats wrong with me but can i ever say the whole story out in details? i cant. its hard to describe my feelings. you are not me. even if i tell you, you wont feel it like i do. afterall, some things are only meant for baby to know.

can we ever be like them? where their feelings wont fade away for each other no matter what happens?

nonsense things

wth? suddenly everything just happened like this? dont ask me whats wrong. i havent even get the perfect answer myself.

to passerby: i guess whatever you say is not true cus my boyfriend got the proof that he's actually 22 years old and not 24 like what you claimed? maybe all this is just a misunderstanding. i dont know whether he's really your friend's ex cus when i asked you for your friend's name, you didnt tell me. if like what you claimed, i wont even know who you are or whoever your friend is, then why should you be afraid to tell me her name? unless you are telling me you are lying and that you actually dont know my boyfriend at all. if not, why should you be scared that i'll tell my boyfriend about your-so-called friend who is his ex? maybe you are not lying, maybe you are. i dont know. but the fact is he didnt lie to me. if you wanna drift us apart for some reasons which i dont know what then i think you should stop it. if you and your friend have any grudges against him, i suggest you forget all about it. whatever that happened is already in the past. dont you think its ridiculous trying to get back at him or what? even if its not so, im the innocent party in this. i dont think i deserve to get involve in something like this when i dont even know what happened in the past. if you are trying to play a prank on us, then i have two words for you; F*CK OFF! i think i can judge my boyfriend better than you. who are you to comment about him? whatever it is, thanks for your concern and let me repeat again, the truth is already out. MY BOYFRIEND DIDNT LIE TO ME.

FULLSTOP. this is the ending. no more episodes of these kinda nonsensical stuffs! RIDICULOUS! im going to remove the tagboard from my blog. too many unknowns are tagging nonsenses recently. enough is enough. if you are interested in my life, read my blog and shut your mouth. any comments you can gladly keep it to yourself. i'll be more than happie to hear no more of these. :) im happie to receive care and concern from my friends and close friends. if you are really concern about me, send me an sms and i'll be happie to see it. (:

cus of this, baby and i didnt sleep for the whole of last night. he's trying to find out who the passerby is and im trying to sort out my messy thoughts in me. and i specially wanna thank 2 friends of mine; YVETTE and GUAN SOON! :D thanks for your care and concern, i really appreciate them. :) especially guan soon! i know you are also having your own problems and yet you still didnt forget about me! SO TOUCHED LARS! :D

whether people out there are jealous about my relationship with baby or hate me or hate him, i dont care. i dont even give a damn about it! you know what i call these people? SORE LOSERS. i dont need you people to entertain me in my life. i have my own friends who can entertain me better than you people. so just get out of my life!

enough said. lets talk about happie things now. :D went kboxing with yvette today! wahh! damn long never go kbox already lors. took some photos and i saw LIAN HONG at a restaurant(i dont know how to spell the name lors!) in PS! he's actually working there! we looked at each other for quite some time before he called out my name. HAHAS! so funny! chatted a little bit to update about each other's life now. people need to work lors, cannot chat too long with him. LOL!

then accompanied yvette to buy her stuffs before i went to meet baby. we cleared up all the misunderstandings and i guess he's right. everybody do make mistakes. he made mistakes in the past and i think i shouldnt mention about his past to pick a quarrel with him thou i really hate his past doings! =X so well, the sun is out again! (:

photos time! :D

hidden truths

first of all, i would like to reply tags.

to VIVIAN: sure my dear! its been so long since we last went out together. miss the time when me, you and val went for kbox session. =(

to GIRL: i dont know if losing him will be the biggest mistake in my life but i know i cant imagine days without him by my side.

to ANONYMOUS: well, i shall let nature takes its course ba. if hes mine, he will be. its too tiring to always think about loving him or hating him.

to SUEPING: i know you will always be there to hear my rantings! :D i also wanna go hong kong! LOL!

to PASSERBY: you know him?! how did you know him? are you his friend or what? he told you he's 24?!

im at a lost now. whats going on? why did someone just suddenly appear and said he/she knows my boyfriend and he's 24?! what? WHAT?! can someone please explain to me about all this?

i dont wish to think too much about this and jump to conclusion when i havent even ask him anything. but, i dont think he will lie to me, right? why should he lie to me about his age, right? there's no such need to lie to me about this, RIGHT?

wth. i just cant stop thinking about this lars. and, i saw something from his handphone last night. why should he keep her number when he told me he stopped contacting her already? obviously she still calls him RIGHT? and why is her mum's number appearing in his contact list? what? WHAT?! just whats going on?

so he can delete people he dont like from my contact list so WHY CANT I DO THAT?! ITS SO UNFAIR!

he's so complicated. so so so complicated. i hate dating someone so complicated. it seems like he's keeping alot of things from me, isnt it? one year already. there's still so many things which i dont know. what is this? just what is this?! he knows everything about me and i still know nothing about him!

im just a simple girl. i dont need complicated people to come into my life and interrupt my simple life! he's making me crazy! how am i going to trust him like this?! i feel as if ive been cheated by him.

speechlesssssssssss.

PMS

i cried myself to sleep last night.

i read an online article just now. i finally understand why am i behaving like this now. its not that i purposely wanna behave in this manner but i just cant control myself. its as if my feelings are sitting on a roller coaster ride, one moment is up, another moment is down. hais.

i dont know is it cus of my feelings that affect us now or is it that i really regretted alot of things now. whatever it is, i dont wanna make any mistakes anymore. its already a torture for me to make a big mistake and i cant take the blow of another mistake again.

even if i regret now, its all too late. i dont have a choice anymore isnt it? i dont wish to care anymore. like what i said, let nature takes its course. nobody cares about how i feel anyway. so whats the point of saying out how terrible i feel inside me?

all i know now is i'll be happier without him around. its hard to be a girl, its really hard.

a decision

all i can say is i dont make decisions out of nothing.

im fine. everything is fine. life still goes on, no matter what isnt it?

maybe i should see things in another way instead. ive learned to accept baby totally in my life now. :) i should just let nature takes its course. afterall, whats rightfully mine will be, no point saying much, right?

went out with baby to town yesterday. i bought a white shorts and he paid for it. LOL! i have so many many more things to buy! baby spent his taka vouchers on chocolates. he gave me a packet of chocolate and nougat to bring home. :D

after all this that happened, i still love my baby lots. (: our one year anniversary is approaching in 17 days' time! im so excited! :DDD baby said he wish to buy a cake to celebrate our day and if there's a cake, can i make a wish? if i can, my wish will be to be able to overcome all the obstacles installed for us and be able to spend the rest of my life happily together with him.

you know what? people always say you cant say out your wishes cus they wont come true but come to think of the birthday wishes i wished for, i start to think that its bullshit cus none of them came true. so this time round, i write it out for everybody to know, for everybody to read. hopefully, my wish can come true! (:

my fault?

yar yar yar. as usual. its my fault again. all my fault. i shouldnt have mentioned him all the time making you angry or jealous or whatever you claimed you were feeling.

stupid lars. very stupid. not in a good mood. people, dont come and make me feel more irritated please.

leave each other alone is the best solution from all the past experiences i had with him! you wanna say its avoiding the problem so be it. i dont care! anyway, i dont see this as a problem. its not at all!

whatever lars. my fault, my fault, all my fault!

i just cant bring myself to say 'i still love you' after every bad entry about you or about us lars. im seriously wondering if i really hate you or what. i dont know lars! dont wish to know either! you just need to know im feeling very -what-the-fuck- now!

BESTIES!

wow! its june already. its been a week since i last blogged eh?

anyway, i met up with my dearest sueping on wednesday at town. we chatted and took pictures as if there's no tomorrow! LOL! we spent an hour plus at the same place taking pictures! hahas. xD

we walked around town, shortlisted alot of things that i wanna buy! then we went to marina square de swensons for dinner cus she doesnt wanna queue for the swensons at orchard. LOL!

after dinner, walked around and she bought a top at topshop and then we proceed to a corner for our photo-taking session. HAHAHAS! so funny i tell you! i told her i wanna take more spastic photos instead of pretty ones cus im sick of taking pretty pics all the time. LOL! and she was saying "why must make ourselves look stupid when we can look prettyyyy?" HAHAS! anyway, in the end she also act stupid with me! xD and we were laughing at each other's spastic face. LOL! but of course we took prettyyy pics too! :)

pictures time! xD some are repeated ones but i guess its more than enough for your eyes already. LOL!






thats all! i love my bestie loads!!! (: